Homilies
The Watchmen
Holy Spirit take my words and speak to each of us according to our need.
Well, I don’t know about you, but I have never considered myself a watchman. It sounds like quite an important job, doesn't it? Someone standing on the walls of the city, looking out for danger, sounding the alarm when something is wrong.
But then we hear Ezekiel telling us that God has made him a watchman for Israel. And suddenly it becomes rather less comfortable. Because being a watchman isn't simply about noticing what is wrong. It is about having the courage to speak up about it too. And that can be much harder.
We are generally quite good at noticing when someone else is getting things wrong. We notice when someone is being unfair. We notice when someone is behaving badly. We notice when somebody says something inappropriate, behaves selfishly, or treats another person badly. We may even have a very clear idea about what they ought to do differently.
But actually saying something? Out loud? That's different. Because there is a very fine line between speaking up because we care about someone and speaking up because we want to put them in their place.
And that is one of the things our readings today are asking us to think about. What does it mean to love somebody when something has gone wrong?
Paul tells us in Romans that we should owe no one anything except to love one another. That sounds lovely until we realise that love isn't always particularly comfortable.
Love isn't simply being nice to people. Sometimes love means having to say something difficult. Sometimes love means challenging behaviour. Sometimes love means refusing to pretend that everything is fine when it isn't.
And that brings us to Jesus' teaching in Matthew. "If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone." It is surprisingly practical and seemingly straight forward advice.
Notice where Jesus starts. Not with an announcement or with an email copied to everybody else. Not with discussing it with six other people first or putting something vaguely passive-aggressive on social media. Rather, he says - Go to them and speak to them privately. It sounds simple but we all know how difficult it can be. Because when somebody has hurt us, there is something strangely comforting about telling somebody else.
I know, in the past I have reasoned this by saying something like - "I'm not gossiping. I'm just telling you what happened." And I was genuinely looking for advice but I was also looking for validation and confirmation that I was right to feel the way I did. We might just want somebody to say: "You're absolutely right." "They were completely out of order." "I can't believe they did that." Then our hurt has been shared but once it has an audience, it can become much harder to let go of.
This is why Jesus' teaching is so challenging. He doesn't say, "If somebody has hurt you, make sure everybody knows about it." He says: go to them. Talk to them. Give them the opportunity to hear what has happened. And equally important, give yourself the opportunity to hear their side as well. Because there is always the possibility that what we experienced is not quite the same as what the other person intended.
That doesn't mean our hurt isn't real. It doesn't mean that we have imagined what happened. But it does mean that there may be more than one perspective. And sometimes a conversation can change everything. Sometimes we discover that the other person genuinely didn't realise how their words came across or the effect their words or actions had. Sometimes they apologise. Sometimes we apologise. Sometimes we discover that both of us have misunderstood something. Occasionally though, we discover that they really have behaved badly.
And that is where things become more difficult. Because Christian forgiveness is sometimes misunderstood as simply letting people get away with things. It isn't. Jesus doesn't say that wrongdoing doesn't matter. In fact, he says quite the opposite.
Ezekiel is told to be a watchman precisely because people need to be warned when they are going in the wrong direction. There is a responsibility to speak. But there is also a responsibility about how we speak. Because we can tell the truth in a way that is intended to restore someone or we can tell the truth in a way that is intended to hurt them. The words may be exactly the same but the motivation is completely different.
And this is where Paul's words about love become particularly important. "Love does no wrong to a neighbour." That doesn't mean love never disagrees or that it never challenges. It doesn't mean love has to approve of everything somebody does. But it does mean that even when we challenge someone, we don't ever stop seeing them as a person and one who is loved by God, just as we are. That is much harder than simply being nice. Because when we are hurt, we naturally want justice. We want the person who hurt us to understand what they have done. We want an apology. We want things put right. And, if we are honest, we also want them to feel at least a little of what we felt.
But there is a danger here because justice can very quickly and easily become revenge. We can begin by thinking: "This needs to stop." And end up thinking: "They need to suffer." Those are not the same thing. Justice seeks to put something right. Revenge seeks satisfaction for the wound. And when we act from a place of hurt, it can be very difficult to tell the difference.
This is why Jesus' teaching is so wise. It starts privately, speak honestly and gives the other person a chance. It is a process designed not to humiliate someone, but to restore a relationship if it is possible. And relationships are complicated. Churches are complicated. Families are complicated. Friendships are complicated. Workplaces are complicated. Anywhere human beings gather, sooner or later somebody will misunderstand somebody else, someone will say the wrong thing, somebody will behave badly, and somebody will be hurt.
We cannot create a community where nobody ever gets anything wrong. But perhaps we can create communities where people know what to do when something goes wrong. And that is what Jesus is teaching us to do. Don't ignore it. Don't gossip about it. Don't retaliate. Don't immediately write somebody off. But deal with it. Honestly. Directly. And with love.
There is also something here which connects with Paul's words. "Love does no wrong to a neighbour; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law." Love isn't simply an emotion. It is a way of living. It is a decision we choose about how we will treat another person, particularly when things become difficult. It means asking: "What response will protect this relationship?" "What will allow truth to be spoken?" "What response might make healing possible?"
Sometimes the answer will be reconciliation other times, an apology. Sometimes it will be forgiveness and sometimes it will be a boundary. Because loving somebody does not mean allowing them to continue hurting us. There are situations where reconciliation isn't possible or where trust has been broken. There are situations where someone's behaviour needs to be challenged formally, or where we need to walk away.
Love does not require us to put ourselves in danger. But even then, we can still ask. "What is this situation turning me into?" Because another person's behaviour does not have to determine our character. If someone is cruel to us, we don't have to become cruel. If someone humiliates us, we don't have to humiliate them also. If someone behaves badly, we don't have to allow their behaviour to dictate ours. We can tell the truth without hatred. We can establish boundaries without revenge. We can seek justice without wanting somebody brought down. And we can forgive without pretending that nothing happened.
I think, that is what it means to "owe no one anything except to love one another." Not "You can do whatever you like and I will simply put up with it." But rather "You matter enough for me to tell you the truth." And "I matter enough not to allow what you have done to destroy me." That is a very different understanding of Christian love. It isn't passive or weak. It is courageous.
The watchman in Ezekiel is not called to stand silently on the wall. The watchman is called to see and to speak. To care about what happens next.
And that is our calling too. To notice when something is wrong. To have the courage to speak when speaking is necessary. To speak directly rather than behind someone's back. To seek restoration rather than humiliation. To pursue justice rather than revenge. And, through all of it, to remember that the person standing in front of us is not simply the person who hurt me. They are a human being, made in the image of God.
Because that is what lies underneath all these readings today. God does not delight in people being lost. God wants people to turn around. Ezekiel is called to warn because there is still time to change. Jesus gives his teaching about confrontation because relationships can still be restored. Paul tells us that love fulfils the law because the purpose of Christian living is not simply to avoid doing bad things. It is to become people through whom God's love can be seen.
So as we go out into the week ahead don’t get stuck questioning "Who has hurt me?" Or "Who needs to be challenged?" but reflect on "How can I respond to what has happened without allowing it to make me less loving?"
Can I speak the truth without needing to win? Can I challenge someone without needing to humiliate them? Can I seek justice without needing revenge? Can I forgive without pretending? Can I establish a boundary without hatred? And if we find ourselves needing to have one of those difficult conversations, might we remember that we are not being asked to be perfect.
We are simply being asked to love. Not the easy kind of love. But the kind of love that tells the truth, seeks what is good, leaves room for repentance, and refuses to allow another person's wrongdoing to have the final word. Because sometimes loving someone means letting them know that they have hurt us. And sometimes loving ourselves means refusing to let that hurt become who we are.