Homilies
Do not let your hearts be troubled.
Holy Spirit take my words and speak to each of us according to our needs.
“Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” There’s a quiet power in these words from Jesus:
At first glance, they sound comforting—and they are. But they are also a challenge. Because life does trouble our hearts. It brings fears, disappointments, betrayals. It brings words that wound us more deeply than sticks or stones ever could.
Jesus spoke these words to his disciples on the eve of his crucifixion. He was preparing them for grief, confusion, and real fear. And still, he says, “Do not let your hearts be troubled.” He doesn’t mean “pretend everything is fine.” He means: “Anchor your heart in me. Don’t let the troubles around you decide the peace within you.”
And today, I want to focus especially on one of the most subtle and destructive ways our peace can be disturbed—by the words of others.
How often have you been party to someone, rushing up to you with eagerness to share some information and then heard them starting with the phrase, “Some people are saying…” It’s almost always the beginning of trouble.
How many times have we heard this, or had things passed on to us that we didn’t ask to know? Gossip, innuendo, passive comments, whispered criticisms. It starts small. But the effects can be deep. Someone says something unkind or vague or sly. We take it to heart. We let it sit there. We replay it. We wonder who else might be talking. And before we know it, a seed of bitterness or insecurity has taken root.
But ultimately, once they have shared their information, who is responsible for the effect it has and the ripples it starts? Do we need to carry the weight of other people’s words? Should we?
Oliver, my third child is very emotional and at times sensitive. He really struggles to control his responses. He is easily upset, angered or offended and he come to me saying ‘someone upset me today by doing this and no-one did anything.’ After calming him down, I try to explain that ‘they’ didn’t upset him. He let himself be upset by what they did. A slight twist in perspective but an important one for holding onto your own peace.
W are not the opinions of others. We are not defined by whispers, rumours, or second-hand comments. We are defined by God—by the One who calls us beloved, by the One who knows us fully and still loves us completely.
And so I want to encourage us all to practice ‘the pause’—to stop and regather our emotions when someone brings gossip or veiled negativity to us and to say: “I don’t need to know this.”
Not everything that is said needs to be repeated. Not everything heard needs to be kept. And certainly not everything that is spoken over us belongs in our heart.
There is a popular mindfulness technique called The Four Gates of Speech. It suggests that before speaking we consider what we are about to say and to ask these four questions; "Is it true?", "Is it necessary?", "Is it beneficial?", and "Is it kind?" The idea behind it is to help avoid harmful communication and promote more positive interactions. So as both the speaker and the receiver we should consider if what we are saying or hearing is factually true and accurate. Is it actually needing to be said? Will it have a positive or negative effect on someone, once it is said and is it said with a will of compassion and respect? When we allow the words of others to disturb our peace, it becomes hard to hear the voice of God. And when we pass along hurtful words, even in subtle ways, we become part of the cycle that troubles others.
Some people—whether they realise it or not—use emotions like guilt or drama to manipulate situations to their advantage. They create confusion. They make you question yourself. They say things like, “Well, people are talking…” when really, it’s just them stirring the pot.
When my children were younger they loved me to read them a book called The Whisperer. It was loosely based on the story of Romeo and Juliet except the characters were gangs of cats. The narrator was a rat. He had a vested interest in the gangs keeping up their rivalry (because they then left him alone), but when it looked like reconciliation might happen, he needed to do something – so he started a whisper! No-one knew where it came from, but as people heard it, they passed it on and it grew and grew. The rat got what he wanted out of the situation and took no responsibility or accountability for his actions.
This is not the way of Christ.
The way of Christ is truth spoken in love. It is honesty without malice. It is peace over drama, dignity over gossip, silence over unnecessary harm.
If people truly have a concern to raise, then they should speak directly to the person—with respect and grace. ‘A generous orthodoxy’ is a phrase often used in church circles and basically it means that we don’t all have to accept or believe the same things, we can acknowledge someone elses position whilst maintaining our own position. Just because one person appears to be right does not make the other people wrong. There are many ways to be ‘right’.
So how do we live this peace Jesus speaks of? It begins with taking ownership of what we allow into our hearts. We can choose not to dwell on someone else’s drama. We can say no to harmful speech. We can decide not to participate in conversations that aim to tear down rather than build up.
Scripture reminds us that the tongue has the power of life and death. What we say—and what we choose to repeat—matters. If we are keeping our own counsel and living in peace, then we have no business sharing words that harm others.
Instead, Jesus calls us to be people who speak words that heal, words that bless, words that bring light into dark places. Because when we do that, we make space for Jesus’ peace to grow in our lives and in the lives of those around us.
We can probably recall examples of what happens when we allow negativity to spread – grudges are held, families are estranged, boundary lines are drawn. But also I hope we are able to recall examples of the beauty that comes when we guard our hearts and live with integrity – the marathon runners, who help eachother over the line at the cost of their own success; children who play together unaware of the prejudices that others see, those who give deeply when their own reserves are depleted and most notably the Story of the Good Samaritan
So let us try and hold on to this truth: We do not need to take every comment to heart. We do not need to be drawn into every conversation. We do not need to carry someone else’s unkindness.
Instead, let us carry Christ’s peace.
“Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”
Because the One who speaks those words is faithful. He is with us. And he is more powerful than any whisper, any worry, any fear.
We do not need to be anchored in the opinions of others, we need to step away from the drama and remain in the unchanging love of God.
Amen.